Money: A stepping stone or stumbling block

 The Bible states that money is the root of all evil. However, the JST version clarifies that the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Our attitude toward money is the key. I like to be comfortable and have the things I need and want. I enjoy feeling the freedom to go to Costco and buy whatever my family needs without feeling the stress of calculating as I shop to make sure I don't overspend. However, learning to budget and stay within those parameters is a good thing. I have room for improvement in this area! When I used to work in banking I was exact in my money management matters, but I wasn't always good at planning ahead and creating a budget. I believe that money is a resource that we have been given to teach us to learn discipline and develop the ability to plan and prepare. When we look at money as a tool to create a greater future for ourselves and others, we are in a better position to handle it more appropriately and not fall into the trap of gluttony, waste, or frivolity. Gaining self discipline is a life-long pursuit, and money is just one of the means we have to develop this valuable character trait. Becoming greedy, gluttonous, or wasteful are the stumbling blocks associated with money. But becoming resourceful, creative, and generous are the stepping stones that allow us to use money as a beneficial tool to bless our lives and be in a position to bless others as well.

Dream Big!

 I think there is a power to being willing to dream big. Years ago I watched the movie, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty". I totally related to his character. I am one who dreams big and will get lost in the wonder of my own daydreams. There's the dream I imagine...and then there's reality. I always fall incredibly short of my amazing dreams. But the power in the dream is to dare to try to make it happen. The more consistently I allow myself to dream and then to dare to try, the more adventurous I become. I feel you are never too old to learn something new or try a new hobby or develop a desired talent. Life is meant to be lived fully and the best way to live fully is to dream and then work to make those dreams a reality. I learned how to snow ski when I was 44 years old, after the birth of my 7th child. I had tried it once, just months before I found out I was pregnant with my little bonus baby. I loved it that day, amidst the falling and awkwardness of it all. The winter after my little guy was born I determined to really learn and get into this new sport. I fell in love!!! I pushed the limits of my ability because I was so desirous to learn and to try new terrain and steeper runs. I realized that the only thing holding me back was my fears, and a little more consistent practice to improve. I told myself one day that I had to decide to not be afraid of falling and that I would be able to push the limits of my current abilities even more. So I did! That day I yelled from the lift on the back side of the mountain at Sundance, "I'm not afraid to fall!" I was by myself on the chair. I didn't care what anyone who could hear me would think. I was declaring it to the mountain and to myself. Consequently, in January of my 2nd ski season I skied my first black diamond run and have challenged myself to ski any black diamond I could after that. I have since taught others how to ski and spend many glorious days by myself skiing the mountains of Utah and just finished my 4th season. I feel I can do anything I put my mind to in life. I just have to want it and feel the price is worth paying. With this belief in myself and the willingness to put in the work required, I can become anything, learn anything, and do anything I put my mind to.

Disciple Leader

 Being a disciple leader means that your leadership, and how you do life, is patterned after the Savior's way. To have a discipline in something, means to have studied and practiced that thing for an extensive period of time and to still be honing and developing your skill. George Leonard, the author of Mastery, has a black belt in the martial art of Aikido. He explains in his book that regardless of his black belt, which is the highest level you can attain, his learning will never stop. He explains that there are no experts, only learners, and that you must practice for the sake of practice, not for the results. This idea of continual improvement through consistent practice is the key to the disciple leader. He also shares that the process of mastery reveals so much more to learn as we travel on the journey. The destination is two miles farther for every mile we travel. This is what it means to be a disciple leader. I have always felt that the more I learn, the more  I realize that I don't know. Maintaining a child-like wonderment and willingness to try new things opens up the opportunity to increase and grow. Exaltation brings to us the opportunity to have eternal increase. This increase isn't limited to posterity, but it also includes the increase of knowledge, experience, and understanding. Mastery is to be always learning and seeking improvement. This is what a disciple leader seeks as well.

Why?

 I love the concept of the 5 Why's. When there is an issue or problem, we should ask why. Asking it only once won't get to the root of the issue and how best to address it. As a matter of fact, by continuing to ask why at all levels of the discussion you can solve multiple problems within the problem and get to the root as well. For example, if my kids get in a fight and I intervene to stop the quarrel, I should ask them why they are fighting. The younger may say, "He hit me!" 

Well, that is a problem! Asking the older brother why, he may say, "Because he grabbed the remote out of my hand." 

Then asking the younger brother why, he may say, "He has been on the TV for over 2 hours and it is my turn now. I told him his turn was over and he has been telling me to give him 5 more minutes for the last 20 minutes. I am tired of waiting!" 

So then I could ask the older brother holding the remote hostage why he did this. He may then say, "I have to watch this documentary on the Roman empire so I can do my homework. I am filling out this worksheet and I have to make sure to answer all of the questions. If I give him the remote I won't be able to finish this assignment before I have to leave for my rehearsal and I have to turn this in before I leave or I will get marked off for turning it in late. As soon as I get the answer to the last question I can give him the remote. I have to leave in 10 minutes so I am hoping to answer the last question before I have to leave."

At this point, the younger brother may realize that he is not taking time to understand and allow his brother to complete his homework. He may feel a sense of contrition and apologize for being so impatient and demanding. 

Then the older brother may realize that he failed to communicate his need for the TV because of his looming deadline. He would then recognize how this could be perceived as unfair to his brother who had been waiting. Being so focused on his own need and not considering how his brother is feeling would cause him to feel bad and apologize and hopefully remember in the future to show respect by communicating more clearly.

Asking why is a powerful tool!

7 Habits

 The 7 Habits for Highly Effective People is an amazing book that lays out the 7 habits that trhe most successful people adhere to. They are:

1. Be Proactive

2. Begin with the end in mind.

3. Put first things first.

4. Think win-win.

5. First seek to understand, then to be understood.

6. Create Synergy.

7. Sharpen the saw.

All of these habits are important and have their need and place in life if you want to be successful. I can't say that I have a favorite one, since I feel they are all important. However, I think the one that I struggle with the most would be the one that I would make a favorite to work on, because it needs the most work from me (obviously). That would be habit #2, Begin with the end in mind. 

I would probably put #5, Seek to understand, then to be understood as a close second because I can do better at listening and taking the time to understand before making sure I am understood. 

The reason I would choose #2 as the main one I need to work on is simple. I am very proactive and am always trying to stay productive. I am a hard worker and I don't like to waste time. However, I am not always good at managing my time. I am also one who can get caught up in what's in front of me demanding my attention and can jump from one thing to another as different things pop up to demand my attention. This is why I could use some improvement on figuring out the end goal, setting a plan on how I will achieve it, and then working that plan. I would probably accomplish much more, be more productive in the end, and feel less overwhelmed and frustrated from trying to keep way too many plates spinning at once. I feel I need some specific coaching in this area though. I have a hard time tuning out all of the other attention thieves around me when I am working toward a specific goal or end.

Mastery: Our Nations Missing Mantra

 

Mastery is such a fascinating topic! As I am reading through the book "Mastery: the Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment" I have come to realize that we as a nation are trading mastery for quick- fix, instant gratification, entertainment and pleasure. I am fearful of what the future will hold for us and how long we will be able to maintain our freedoms as we pursue paths that lead to addiction, idleness, and apathy. We are learning to make everything easy and to avoid hard things. We want something for little or nothing invested. There is a quote that explains this in the book, " The same climate of thought that would lead some people to the promise that they can learn a new skill or lose weight without patient come a long-term effort leads others to the promise of great riches without the production of value in return."

We need to change the narrative and open our eyes to the truth that anything worth getting will require hard work and effort. Otherwise, it probably isn't worth much! This is one of my biggest concerns for my children. I see some of them wanting everything to be fun and easy and when they are confronted with something that requires a great amount of effort, they quickly lose interest and decide they aren’t that interested after all. I have been trying to figure out how to inspire them to choose SOME path of determined effort and growth. I want them to create a vision for themselves and then start to work step-by-step to create their dreams for themselves. First, they need to start to sincerely dream. I hope to change this narrative for my children and those who I have influence on. I can start with myself and go from there. As I pursue hard fought successes and continue to improve myself, I can inspire others to do the same. As I make small incremental improvements day by day and week by week, I can model the method of self-improvement and eventual self-mastery. If enough parents and leaders become aware of this epidemic of idle free loading and avoidance of discomfort of any kind, then maybe we can change the tides in our great nation, one person at a time. 

 

A Hero's Journey

 I listened to a short presentation called "The Hero's Journey". It was very insightful and I gained some insights and understandings that will benefit me in my life. I also was given some valuable exercises that I plan to implement. He talked about interviewing people at different ages/stages of life about what is most important in life. He said there will be various ideas in most age categories. But the age 60+ category will all say the same thing, more or less. They will say the 3 most important questions you will ponder at the end of your life will be the following:

1) Have I made a difference in the world?

2) Was I a good person?

3) Who did I love and who loved me?

When you consider these questions, you realize that a lot of what we stress over and spend our time on each day doesn't fall under these three questions very often. It is a real wake up call to consider how I can make these questions a priority and a focus as I live my day to day life.

Another important point of the speech was the idea of finding a calling that fits your special gifts. This may take some time to discover. A recommendation to ask 5 people that I know very well and ask them to take time to talk to me about what I do better than anyone else in the world. It is important to press them for specifics and for examples from my life that support their observations of my unique gifts and talents. This way I can more accurately determine what my calling should be. This calling must be something that serves others and that truly matters to me. As I use my gifts to change the world, it will change me in the process. This reminds me of the scripture where the Lord tells us that those who lose their life in the service of others/God will find it. And those that save their life (or focus on themselves) will lose it.